Apparently I run this city, as demonstrated by the abundance of traffic paraphernalia clearly marked with my initials. Now, I did not authorize such inconveniences in such vast amounts all over the streets of San Francisco, but there is certainly something intoxicating about seeing your initials strewn about the city, seeing even the largest of cars driven by the largest of people obeying their (my) directional demands. I'm sorry, sir, but, no, you, your hummer, your tribal tattoos, and your three rotweilers cannot pass. Please find an alternate route. Have I gone mad with power? Perhaps. But I've certainly never seen orange, white, and black look so good together (well, except for candy corn, but I think that's more of a taste issue, don't you?).Last but not least, I'd like to thank my hat for doing such a wonderful job of concealing my extremely aZn/80s news reporter haircut. A prominent city official like myself can't risk ridicule with so much traffic equipment is at stake!
